Even Our Dreams

Song of the Day:Bravado -Lorde
To hear it , click here

So a quote from Spiderman II had been stuck in my head for a while.

"Sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most... even our dreams"

Its one those obviously inspiration quotes  but  as of late in my life it has held a special meaning.

I have mentioned before that I am in colorguard . It has a faction of it called winterguard. (for more info on that click here) There are many winterguard groups of many sizes that compete in many different places but in the winterguard world nothing is bigger than Winter Guard International. Or spefically the Winterguard International  World Championships held in April every year.

If colorguard was a religion, this would be our mecca.

Now I have done winterguard before  but I have never been able to be in a WGI competing winterguard. I have dreamed of doing it ever since I learned what it was.

This is what I look like when I think about going to WGI championships.

Right now I am of  the age ,experience and talent to not only go to WGI but be in a big group that everybody would watch. Even one that might win. However every year that I try to do it something gets in the way. My most recent try at being in a group that performs at this event was a group called Brenham Independent. They were good. Really good and I got through the audition fine but then reality reminded me of two things.

 

I had neither the time nor the money to pursue this dream. It killed me inside to tell them no. I still regret that heavily especially as that guard went  on to beat 80 or so groups to get second place. I knew that I had missed out on something amazing. However if you asked me if I could go back and change that decision you know what I would do.

Nothing

I would do nothing.

I wouldn't  go back and say yes to that because I know that with the workload and lack of money I had this semester I would have even less money and  I would probably be failing college because I didn't have the time to work on the classwork I needed to . As much as I regret that I couldn't have performed with that group I knew that was the best choice.

This bring me back to the quote I have been thinking about.It  says you have to be steady and possible give up  a dream or two or least put them on hold to  ensure your future. I now understand that and I know that my dream can still come true. I just have to be steady and ensure that  trying to get it when I am not ready won't kill my future in the process.

So I ask you this dear readers.  Have you ever had to put a dream on hold or give it up entirely to make sure that your future was secure. If  so do you still regret not reaching that dream or having to wait for it longer? Please tell me in the comments.

That's all for now. Have a Blessed Day,

I could think of no better send off then this. Seriously. Just feel that kiss.

Lydia

                                                                     

All The Little Things

 Song of the moment: Carry On ~ Fun
 listen to it here 

   So something magical happened a few nights ago. I had one of those moments  of epiphany where suddenly something that I never fully understood  or accepted about myself and the way I effect other people was reveled to me. It looked kind of like this in my head.

Much better than some boring old light-bulb

                                                   

    So what led to the image of Sam and Dean Winchesters gaping mouths of excitement to fester into my brain? The answer to that is  something so simple  that I had overlooked  it  by default. With that statement it is time to elaborate.

 

 So back in high school, which for  me was whopping two years ago, I was in  my school  color guard. For  those people who don't know what I'm talking about here is the wiki page take a second to look it over. I'll wait

Color Guard

So that was what i was in. Now we always had a our own camp just the guard before band camp started and in the final night we had a sort of initiation.We would get rounded up in the middle of the night, blindfolded, walked around a little bit then we would go to a certain place and have a ceremony we called candlelight. Here  the whole guard plus any alumni and our directors would come and light a candle and share stories about our group. It was great fun and sine now I have graduated I come as an alumni I get to come and see the bright new faces as they embark on the journey of colorguard. So this is where I was at when it happened.

Now last spring we have a thing called winterguard which was a competitive season of just guard where we combined my old high school and a college guard ( which I was spinning for) we had only a few interested girls, mostly from my high school but we were a good little group and we learned ( or my cause taught) a lot and i did get to know the girls i spun with a little bit but i never got very close and I had no idea if anyone of them would miss me at all.

Which is why when I went to the candlelight and two  of the girls who had spun with me come up and ( one of them nearly knocked me to the ground) expressed how much they missed me and tell me about what was going on. It took me for a bit of a suprise because I had not spend really any time with these  girls outside of guard functions and It takes me a while to make close connections with people. So for two girls who I didn't get to know to terribly well to have missed me as much as the did really hit me hard. That had not happen to me before that I can remember. So I was left thinking what led to this strong of a bond.

I started to think about the season and as I did  a picture  started to form of small moments.  The help with a toss that I gave.The  small conversation during practice or the longer ones on the bus to competitions. It was all the take it for granted moments. All The Little Things.

I think a certain level we don't realize the effect we have on other people. We know they see and hear us  and even spending time with someone means that you at least know them fairly well but it takes moments like things to remind you that it can be more than even what a person  consciously take in. This epiphany  filled me with great joy as a person who has felt fairly invisible all her life to know that even the little things I did made a difference is those girls life. This also makes me think about how I live each day because those little things you do really do count.

So the question I have for anybody who reads this  is their  a person in your life that you only have talked to a little but they miss you  a lot or vice versa? Have you talked to them recently? Also how do you live day to day with the people you are  around because it is making an effect whether you know it or not.



That's all for now. Have a blessed day

The Doctor says live long and prosper. Yes I am that much of a geek.

Lydia